she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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