I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
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the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
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I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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