He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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