found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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