Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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