I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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