im gay
i know
yea but for you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You can't just leave with hair like that
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
