when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
