is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's blow job season.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
