I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
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I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
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asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.