What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.