Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
