Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
