im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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