i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
A+ Viking dick
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
