Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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