Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
