she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
