i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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