We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
