I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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