I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
