My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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