it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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