At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
