I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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