I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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