wanna go halves on a baby?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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