i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
