Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
