so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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