Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
