i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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