Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
