The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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