Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize