I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize