In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
