508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
