i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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