You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
nutella sex= disaster
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
