I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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