I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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