I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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