she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
