i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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