He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So much rum. So many feels.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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