i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
