I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
