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Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
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