someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
