Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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