Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
