I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
