It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
