By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Houston, we have a blender
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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