Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
