i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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