I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
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There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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