Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
