I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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