she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
