I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
A+ Viking dick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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