i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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