Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
