Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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