At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
