don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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