Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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